* spending time with my niece and nephew was priceless as they remind me how precious family time is❤️
Seems weird to put pen to paper about a race that never happened, yet for me it seems the lesson was never about the actual race rather the process or lack there of in the lead up. Just to clarify up until about 2-3weeks it had been the most consistent block of training I’d put together for a long time, no one session stood out yet every session counted! Running injury free was a priority this year and achieved with the help of Wayne Cooley from http://www.cooleyhealth.com.au who using a few different tools in the toolbox got me going. Then just as the start line was in site sickness struck in the form of shingles, (adult chickenpox) something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone as the pain and discomfort was immense, just Google it and see for yourself. That said, I remained positive and ignorant choosing not to look at how severe and on going it can be, rather what I could do to get better asap…
Now looking back I was foolish, not for holding hope for the race but for thinking that getting a few more training session’s in would really count because in hindsight it was at the cost of habits that had gotten me healthy in the first place. Yoga, meditation, mobility and movement session’s were all missed or compromised due to fatigue from a worthless ride, run or swim.
Instead of managing fatigue and focusing on what I could control, little things became big and in my mind ‘life got busy’, my sleep had been really disrupted with the shingles which compounded things and by the time I got to Cairns it became a mental battle as the family started arriving the situation again in my mind was overwhelming. What disappoints me most is that for probably 2-3 weeks leading into Cairns I allowed external factors control both my happiness and health, creating busyness and complexity in my own mind to avoid stillness and simplicity two major aspects that I’d focused on from the beginning of this year. To think that after meditating for 253 days straight and managed just twice in the last 2 weeks, right when it became most important!

As race day drew closer I started to really doubt that toeing the start line was the best decision for my health long term. The day before was horrible as conflicting thoughts tormented me all day, this was not how the story was supposed to go especially after getting into possibly the best shape for a couple of years. With so many family members there I was devastated race morning when finally at about 4:30 am after a lengthy consultation with my mum it was decided not to race.
On a positive it meant spending a few extra hours with family before many headed off something I’m truly grateful for as it took my mind off self pity and turned it towards laughter and happiness!!! As for many I think the greatest lessons in Ironman racing can come from that last week or two of preparation where the ramifications of poor decisions are magnified, for now it’s a case of learn, get healthy then reload☕️